Oh sure, that makes sense...

[kingfox]

Pete's back from his trip to Europe. Many great stories, good times. Turns out he's got Bavarian blood in him. Some will think of cream filled donuts, others will think of something else. Between that, people listening to tales of Merovingians when I explain the symbolism behind the name (which I mentioned a lifetime ago), and other signs... I'm keeping the truck handy and my plans in place.

And lo, I say unto thee! Is it any wonder that Judy Winslow ended up in Booty Talk Twenty: Super Fine Sistas and More Black Dirty Debutantes Thirty and Thirty-Two? Are you surprised? Are you shocked? Trust me when I say this to you, oh brothers and sisters, this was foretold. For when you send your youngest daughter up the stairs at the age of fourteen and you REWRITE HISTORY to pretend that she never existed, you unbalance things. The only way the universe can maintain the pathetic guise of order that it attempts to throw at those without slack is to take the neglect and pain you have caused Judy Winslow and use it to transform her into Crave. Why? Because she CRAVES your love. She CRAVES purpose. Just like MewTwo, most powerful of Pokémon and existential philosopher, she CRAVES a place in this crazy world. She never CRAVED getting filled out like an application in Adventures of Peeping Tom Number Twenty-Eight! Respect the universe, pinks, or your little Judy Winslows will be spreading their pink on film!

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Comments

[graye.livejournal.com]

holy shit I have NO idea who this judy winslow is


and googling seems HARD

Backstory for those from the north

[kingfox.livejournal.com]

Once, long ago, Balki Bartokomous came to live with his cousin Larry Appleton. An elevator operator by the name of Harriette Winslow became friends with them. Her family consisted of her husband, his mother, their eldest son, and their two younger daughters. The youngest daughter was Judy Winslow, who vanished one day. Years later, she would appear in a few pornographic movies.

[thelastbandito.livejournal.com]

I've starred in amateur porn. I think I still have the tape somewhere.

Under what circumstances?

[kingfox.livejournal.com]

Tell us more!

Re: Under what circumstances?

[kynmore.livejournal.com]

NO! NO! PLease, do NOT tell us more. Kingfox might have a morbid fascination for this, but some of us DO NOT want to know about Last Bandito Porn!

Pshaw, prude!

[kingfox.livejournal.com]

I said details, not to post the thing itself. Toner down there hotrod, you can handle it. We're in this together.

Re: Under what circumstances?

[thelastbandito.livejournal.com]

I actually didn't know it at the time. My roommate had just gotten a video camera, and they were fiddling around with it, while I was fiddling around with a girl in my room.

Apparently, they had wandered outside to film something, and noticed movement in my window.

Needless to say, they found something to test their cameraman skills with, due to the fact that I have a spatious backyard, and generally keep my window open with shades drawn back for ventilation purposes.

I wasn't aware of this until after the fact, however, I made a good showing, so I wasn't entirely displeased with their actions.

I've forgotten where the video is now.

I'm probably famous on some amateur site or something.

I'm not about to dig around for it, my face wasn't visible for more than a few seconds, and my hair was long at the time and obscured it.

Re: Under what circumstances?

[thelastbandito.livejournal.com]

I'll have to question my roommates in regards to this tape and it's whereabouts.

This could one day be blackmail material.

Re: Under what circumstances?

[kingfox.livejournal.com]

I still have a video of my current roomie that he wishes was burned. It was taken at least eight years ago, yet still remains a thorn in his side. Get on that shit, man.

Re: Under what circumstances?

[thelastbandito.livejournal.com]

I could possibly deny all involvement in this video due to angles I believe. Stating, no that is not me! It might look INCREDIBLY SIMILAR TO ME! But there is no DOCUMENTABLE FACE SHOT!

Except for that one.

And thats more of a money shot.

[kingfox.livejournal.com]

But I see the unique lightning bolt shaped birthmark on your inner thigh in that shot!

[thelastbandito.livejournal.com]

LIES!